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Prof Eric Anderson (originally from US, now works in UK) did some great research into "inclusive masculinities" that supports this analysis. Eric found plenty of pockets of inclusivity and acceptance of bromance and homoeroticism among younger men. We have to remain hopeful - the super-rigid setup we currently witness is historically recent, culturally marginal (from a global perspective) and so visibly pathological that it's up under strong challenge lately. https://www.winchester.ac.uk/About-Us/Leadership-and-governance/Staff-Directory/Staff-Profiles/Anderson.php

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Well damn, I just found a new favorite academic to binge-read! Thanks for this comment — and I agree, the hope is in the young, specifically in the fact that all these toxic traits are learned, which means they can be unlearned and healthier ones learned in their place.

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Great piece, thank you!

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My husband is one of the more evolved men (i.e., he has the strength to nurture women without losing any of his masculinity) I've ever met. And yet he has had very few male friends in his life. "Our" friends are really my friends who became ours when he and they enjoyed each other's company. It makes me very sad that there could have been many rewarding friendships for him, and I'm not sure how much of the lack lies at the feet of society and how much at his own feet.

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Oof, that's such a hard thing, not knowing how much is on us versus on the system. I'm glad that now you guys have a solid group of friends, however that came about. Here's to more men laying down their patriarchy and embracing intimacy and closeness instead.

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You’re completely right, this would help a lot. Thank you for sharing this.

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I'm glad it resonated!

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Brilliant. Thanks so much!

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