Love

What do our bodies mean? What can they do together?

This is the third of three introductory posts that establish the foundation of what I’m trying to do in this newsletter. See the first and second ones here.

After my last post, I decided I didn’t want to use the same format when writing this one. It’s too much to fit everything I want to say in one essay. This is especially true because I’m using the word “love” to encompass so many things at once. 

So instead, I want to introduce the topics I will be writing about, and then actually write about them in subsequent essays. Consider this an appetizer of what’s to come!

Identity: Gender, Sex, Orientation, Race, Ability

At the forefront of the culture wars are all the ways we’ve learned to identify ourselves, and all the ways the state categorizes us for strategic purposes. I plan to make some deep-dives into each of these nodes, especially queerness and neurodiversity since those are my stomping grounds. I also want to explore the connections, overlaps, and blurred lines between them.

In a sense, all of these categories function primarily in the social realm. I’m not sure they mean anything outside of their cultural contexts. This doesn’t make them unreal, but it does mean they proceed from our actions and beliefs, not the other way around. 

There’s also something to be said about the tyranny of the normal: do we really want to spend our time consolidating ourselves into marketable demographics? Don’t we want to break free and live our individual lives in community with people we love?

For the death of this world and the birthing of another, I think all these categories must be transcended — not abolished, but defanged. No one should have their access to basic necessities or quality of life contingent on any of these identity markers. But for that to happen, we need more than liberal tolerance or DEI programs. Our cultural fabric must be re-spun into more liberating patterns. Which means we have lots of unraveling to do. 

Some ideas that might become future posts:

• Can we rewrite our gendered scripts so that they come to signify good things instead of reactionary outrage over trans rights and reproductive health? 

• The history of sexual orientation: how and why were straight people invented?

• The surveillance state, and how it depends on the capacity to quantify us.

• What would a truly accessible living space look like? What about an accessible knowledge commons? 

Family: Patriarchy, Religion, Attachment, Trauma

Growing up gay in the evangelical church meant that from day one I felt like an outsider in my own home. To quell this fear and shame, I became the best Christian I could be, which meant fighting my body’s every desire, especially the sexual ones. Religious trauma, attachment theory, and patriarchal violence will be recurring themes in this newsletter. 

People often argue over the merits of two dysfunctional family structures: the western nuclear family and the eastern extended family. Little is said, at least in my circles, about other kinds of social organization, such as the complex kinship ties of tribal societies or the experimental communes many renegades around the world at different times have established. 

In a free society, we’d be able to set our own terms for relationships — but would we really know what to do with that freedom if we suddenly acquired it now? 

• What could masculinity without patriarchy look like? 

• Is religion redeemable? (Answer: yes, but not by me)

• If we took attachment theory seriously, how would our models for relationships change? 

• How can our built environment reflect a diversity of family and relationship models?

Body: Mental & Physical Health, Embodied Mind

If anarchy takes the broadest view of history, society, and the world, and emergence narrows down to notice distinct patterns in ecology and human systems, then love gets to the most intimate spaces: in my writing I want to explore what it means to be a human animal with an embodied mind that evolved with desires fueled by haptic feedback. 

Our longing for love, our rage at betrayal and misery at heartbreak, the ways we react to chronic stress — these things matter. Our bodies are trying to tell us something, and we’d do well to listen. Trauma disconnects us from that language deeper than words, and the systems of violence around us are certainly traumatic. Thankfully, while we still live we can heal. 

• Can the pain/pleasure paradox in physical fitness extend to other areas such as organizing a decision-making body? 

• What could mental health decoupled from the state apparatus accomplish? 

• What are the implications of an embodied mind for western philosophical assumptions such as mind/body duality? What does that suggest about non-human intelligence — animal, plant, or artificial? 

• How am I supposed to live and thrive in a capitalist hellscape with ADHD and a full-time job without descending into insomnia and chronic illness?

Conclusion

It should be clear from how I’ve organized them that these spheres are deeply intertwined. They don’t neatly separate into distinct topics. Running through them all are the questions, “What do our bodies mean? What can they do together?” 

I’m convinced that physical touch, emotional connection, and psychological belonging are intimately related. Our paths of escape from this world, whatever our particular circumstances, will be found and made through love. Without love as the bedrock, I don't trust anyone's motives even if their politics align with mine. 

I wrote this intro post last, but it really comes first. I was taught from day one that “God is love,” and though I’ve left God far behind, love remains my reason for being. It’s because our current systems are so bloodless and impersonal that they’re able to wreak so much havoc on our planet. It’s because this world threatens me and the people I love that I take up arms against it and look for lines of escape. May these letters push us towards a world where we and the ones we love can be truly free. 

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